The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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