So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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