I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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