Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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