mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
