best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
