I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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