I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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