I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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