OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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