So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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