i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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