Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
