PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
