Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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