...so i touched it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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