nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
