And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
