I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
