what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
