he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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