I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
