thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
