whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
