I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
