the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
