does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
