The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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