It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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