I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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