I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
