shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
