You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Watching her eat just hurts me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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