oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
