Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
