Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
