I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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