Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
