This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
