Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
