Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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