You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
