GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
