i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
