Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
