He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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