I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
