Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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