Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
