i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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