Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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