just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
