Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
